Hak of the Taco Bell
by NoNameBrand101
Summary: AU crack fic where Hak is now a Taco Bell employee. A crisis leads to him going on an adventure, and along the way he meets several people. It's as weird as it sounds. Rated M due to language and suggestive themes.
1. We ran out of hamburger

**Disclaimer: I don't own Yona of the dawn or taco bell.**

Chapter 1: We ran out of hamburger

* * *

It was a busy day at the local Taco Bell. People were doing what they usually did at fast-food restaurants: spilling their drinks, chattering, eating, stinking up the bathroom, when-

"Guys, we ran out of hamburger!" Said random employee number 1.

"You fucking idiot! I told you to refill our stock like 5 times, ect..." Complained the manager (who may have been a hobo who stole the real managers identity. It seemed likely due to the fact that the manager not only got fatter but was also now a man).

"Then just go get some more." Pointed out Hak, the permanent employee of the month.

"Hak! You brilliant idiot! I love you!" Exclaimed the creepy manager.

"Whose gonna go get it though?" Asked random employee number 2.

"Hak!" Said whoever. Why? Because its called HAK of the taco bell, you silly.

"Ok." Said Hak, because why not?

"It's dangerous to go alone, take this." The hobo manager handed him a spear type thing. "This Pointy Stick has been handed down in my family for generations. I know you'll make good use of it, my dear." Said the Hobo-manager with bishie sparkles and tears in his eyes.

"Uh, thanks." Hak picked it up, not caring who it came from.

"Good luck, my son." Said Hobo-Manager.

"I'm gonna go now..." Hak left on his magical journey.

* * *

It's the modern age! Cars!

Hak climbed in his-hm. I am the narrator. I can do whatever I want! Hak climbed in his chariot and drove off. But wait! Hak can't drive! He started speeding and crashing into other cars like in Grand Theft Auto (chariot edition). Unlike in that game, however, a police officer calmly called out to him to pull over and did not start ramming his car and shooting at him.

"Excuse me sir, but you were speeding... and ramming other people." Said the RED HAIRED FEMALE police officer. Hint hint.

"Oh, uh, sorry." Said Hak, who didn't really care all that much. After all he was an empty shell after the bitter betrayal of his lifelong friend and-

Okay maybe not.

"So uh, tell you what. I'd rather not hand you a ticket because I'm out of tickets, and I don't feel like getting more so... How about you help me stop some crime?".

"Sure." Hak grabbed his Pointy Stick (ou-la-la) and hopped out of the chariot. He then sat in the police lady's car and waited for her to get in.

"My name is Yona, but you can call me princess *wink* *wink*." Said Police Yona.

"Hak." Said, yeah. HIM.

"I don't see any hawks anywheres." Yona looked at the sky.

"No. My names Hak."

"THAT'S A FUCKING TERRIBLE NAME HAHAHAHAHHAhak!"

10 hours later...

"So what are we doing?" Asked Hak the sensible one. (Well, sensible despite getting in a car with someone he just met.)

"Shtahpin' crimm." Said Yona through a mouthful of MacDonald's food.

Normally, a proud Taco Bell employee would never eat at another fast food place, but this is HUNGRY Hak.

"What crime?"

"ARE YOU KIDDING ME HAVE YOU SEEN THIS PLACE HAHAHAHAHAhak! I'm trying to catch these five criminals who've been on my list for a while now. Here's their profiles." Yona handed him some papers.

Hak made no comment about her outburst and grabbed the papers. The first one was classified as 'Drug Dealer Yoon'. A young bishounen who looked like Yoon from an anime called Yona of the Dawn. Hmmmm...

The other four are getting lumped together like usual. We have a shiny blue one named Shin-ah, a silvery one named Kija, a Christmas tree one named Jae-ha, and a yellow meat shield named Zeno.

"So what did they do?"

"Well Yoon is obviously a drug dealer so nuff said, and the other four keep killing people."

"Oh." _I can't believe she's making me chase murderers_ , thought Hak.

"Bahhh, I'm sure you'll be fiiiine." Said Yona because she can read minds apparently. It's all because of her detective skills. Yeah.

"So who are we going after first?"

"Zeno I guess. He seems like the easiest to find." She tossed her Big Mac wrapper out the window. A random seagull swooped down and grabbed it. Or was it a hawk? Hmmm...

"It's always the obvious ones who are the best hidden." Said Wisest Sam. Who is Wisest Sam you ask? A seagull. A fat one with brown-ish feathers.

"You're right Wisest Sam-dono. Then we should go after Kija, the random rich villain." Replied Yona to Wisest-dono's advice.

"Excellent. I'd like a soft-shelled taco with no lettuce please." Said Wisest-dono to Hak.

"No, I'm not working right now."

"I am though. Well kind of anyway." Cut-in Yona. She started up the car and vroooom they went to Kija's headquarters. Shiro-hebi Inc.

Yeah, that's right. They're gonna walk right up to the place, kindly punch the doorbell (The most violent outcome is always the way Hak does things) and ask to arrest Kija. Pfff, like that'll work.

Hak punched the doorbell. "Get out here, white snake!" Said Hak, who just wanted this to be over. Aggressive-ness was his forte (despite his mellow-ish nature up until now). "Also do you have any hamburger that isn't filled with drugs?" One cannot forget ones sacred duty after all.

"Uh, Hak, I don't think-" Started Yona.

"What d'ya want?" Asked Big Man Gura The Guard who came out of the door that Hak was slamming his fist against.

"I wanna see your boss" Hak stated simply.

"Well he's busy." Gura The Guard was not intimidated by Hak's height even though Hak was taller then him. Gura was a real man, even if his middle name was Louise.

"Well I don't care." Hak held up his Pointy Stick and waved it around menacingly. Gura The Guard became nervous. Gura is paralyzed!

"Come on, Yona, now's our chance!"

"No wait, I have a better idea."

Oh god.

* * *

"WEEEEEEEE!" Yelled Yona.

"Whaaaat the fuuuuuuuuuc-cacackc" Yelled Hak who swallowed a fly.

They were in Yona's police car driving through the building. Yona had suggested they hop in the car and _ram through the building_. The results:

-23 people dead

-56 injured

Of course, it's all for the sake of justice so it's fine. They were part of the red shirt army and were probably all contributing to the drug society one way or another anyway.

"Hey Yona, do you even know where this Kija guy is?"

"Hak, do you have no confidence in me?" She said pointing towards a door they were speeding towards. The door said 'Boss's room'. How original and totally not suspicious!

"Time to ram through it!" Yona pressed her foot on the gas, and, well, if they weren't breaking any speeding laws before they definitely are now. Through the door they went! Through the wall they went! Through the air they almost went but Yona's police car had great brakes so they stopped mere inches from falling to their death in a car.

"Whoops." Said Hak, coooool as ever.

"Let's do that again sometime!" Said Yona.

"What in Hiryuu's name did you do to my wall!?" Exclaimed Kija.

Fateful encounter! How will Yona's 'gang' react to this? Find out next time on Hak of the taco bell!

* * *

 **I'm probably going to finish it. Yeah. Totally. It would be a real troll if I didn't after all. Sorry about all the OCs by the way.**


	2. Kum-ji arises

**I finally managed to upload! Almost a month later...**

 **I'm sorry**

 **Enjoooy**

Chapter 2: Kum-ji arises

* * *

"Is your name Kija?" Asked Yona calmly whilst ignoring the fact that she just rammed through his wall.

"Yes," he declared proudly, "and who are you?" His gaze turned harsh.

"This is Hak, and I'm Yona." She smiled.

Hak noticed two things in these short seconds it took from them to be introduced. One, why where they introducing themselves? Two: Why was Yona acting so out of character? Or in character? Uh...

He decided to confront her about one of these problems.

"Yona-I mean _princess_ , why are we casually introducing ourselves to this shirohebi guy?"

"My name is not shirohebi!" Declared shirohehi-I mean Kija in the background. Yona ignored him and smiled up at Hak with an excited glint in her eye. " _Don't worry,_ " She whispered quietly to Hak.

She turned her attention back towards Kija. "I want you! ...or something." She said, trying to quote something she read in a manga.

Now, Kija the fancy has had to deal with many women over the years, and because of that they now scared him a lot more then he cared to admit. Although with Yona he felt some sort of mysterious connection. Not of love, oh no this is not a shipping fic, but of extreme loyalty. Also, he could not deny the fact that this particular woman's aura intimidated him beyond belief.

So, he blushed at her (attempted) straightforward answer and gulped quietly. "Y-y-y-you-" He stammered.

"What." Finished Hak, who tried to control his murderous aura.

Yona held out her hand, ignoring the raging storm of bloodlust brewing next to her. "Would you like to come with me?" She asked in a determined voice.

"I...I..." Suddenly he bowed his head. "Of course!" He bit back the urge to add 'boss' at the end of that. What had come over him?

"What about your _business_? I thought you ran this place?" Hak asked as calmly as possible, in an attempt to get shirohebi to change his mind.

Kija had forgotten about the other man's, _Hak's_ , presence in the room. Which was hard to do with the cloud of darkness that surrounded him. "My subordinates will take care of that." He answered harshly. Kija was not yet aware that most of them were, eh-hem, out of commission.

"Alright! Let's go!" Declared Yona cheerfully.

"Wait," Kija interrupted, pointing a finger towards Hak, "Shoo, shoo~"

"Huh?" Hak's aura flared.

"I am perfectly capable of protecting Yo-"

"I swear I've had this conversation before," Hak murmured.

"Do not interrupt people when they are talking-" Kija began when Hak punched him through the floor boards, sending him plummeting to his doom.

"Hak?"

"Yes Princess?"

"WHAT THE HELL?"

"He was pissing me off," Hak shrugged. "Don't worry, he'll be fine." _Probably._

* * *

Kum-ji is a simple man. He leads a simple life, has a simple job, and is simply easy to get along with. Or at least, that's what he wants you to think.

So did this _ordinary_ patron, this _upstanding_ citizen, expect to be dropped kicked on the side of the street whilst on his way to a business meeting? Did he expect to look up into the murderous eyes of a green haired man and think 'I'm probably going to die now'. No, he did not.

Of course, the _real_ Kum-ji did. The _real_ Kum-ji saw it coming from a mile away. He was used to people coming after his life on a day to day basis, due to his reputation as a merciless man who dabbles in human trafficking, amongst other things. So what did the real Kum-ji do?

He ran. I mean who wouldn't, right?

Kum-ji dashed towards Shirohebi Inc in hopes to find someone there to help him. Surely his fellow associates would offer him protection? Surely they would defend a man such as him?

Too bad Yona and Hak kill- I mean, took care of them earlier.

Kum-ji stumbled into the wrecked building of his used-to-be business partner. He looked around frantically for anyone to save him when he heard it; the voice of death himself.

"Found you," called the green haired man with a grin.

"Oh shit oh shit oh shit oh shit-" Kum-ji's panicked chanting was cut off as he fell over some ruble. He hastily turned around to face his pursuer.

The green haired man, Jae-ha, Kum-ji recalled his name being, slowly stalked closer to him. "No where to run." he stated calmly, "Now it's time for you to di-" Jae-ha was interrupted by a loud banging sound from the top floor. They both glanced up curiously through the large hole in the ceiling and were greeting by the plummeting form of CEO Kija.

* * *

Kija wasn't one hundred percent sure what hit him at first. He didn't have much time to think about it as his head was spiraling dangerously towards the ground floor. Snapping to attention, he called forth the magical powers of his right hand and attempted to grab on to something to stop his fall. Luckily-or maybe not luckily- Jae-ha was there.

Not to catch him however, but to kick him back up towards the top of Shirohebi Inc.

 _Why do people keep abusing me today?_ Kija though numbly. It's a good thing he's tough. Anyone else would probably be dead by now. Anyway...

* * *

"Hey Hak," repeated Yona.

"Yes Princess?"

"Is Kija flying back up here?"

Hak stood close to the hole in the ground and squinted towards the rapidly moving form that was undoubtedly Kija. "Looks like it," he stated simply.

"Huh."

"WaaaAAAAAAAAHHHHHHH!" Kija yelled as he shot up through the floor. A clawed hand reached out and managed to grab one corner of the hole in the floor, abruptly stopping his momentum. Flipping sideways, he managed to land on his knees.

Rage was flowing out of him in waves. "YOU," Kija glared at Hak. "are a-" he stopped and looked down at the tiny hand resting on his shoulder. "Kija, do you think you could forgive Hak? Right now we need to get out of here." Yona stated.

Thinking about this for a moment, he decided to temporarily set aside his rage. "Very well, Princess Yona." He shot a quick glare in Hak's direction, "Do not think this means I forgive you, Hak. I still believe your presence is unnecessary, _and_ you punched me through a floor."

"Likewise," Hak said with a grin. "Well, except for the floor part." He added.

* * *

The group made their way downstairs, carefully avoiding the rubble. All the while Hak would glance at Yona uncertainly, wondering what the heck she was planning. He was naturally concerned for her safety, and he didn't like not knowing what she was planning. _I'll ask her later_ , he thought.

After finally making it to the bottom floor, they were greeted by a murder scene in progress.

Jae-ha was pinning down Kum-ji to floor with his foot. Kum-ji visibly struggled, his face red and soaked with sweat. Jae-ha noticed the onlookers and waved. "Hey there," he looked down at Kum-ji then at the few spots on the floor dotted with blood, "this looks pretty suspicious, doesn't it? Allow me to explain-"

Jae-ha was interrupted by the sound of Kum-ji's shouting. "DIE, BEAST!" He yelled, pulling a gun from his inner jacket pocket. A shot sounded, and Jae-ha narrowly managed to dodge in time. He jumped away and held up his hands. "Whoa there, hold on a minut-" he grimaced and jumped to the side as another bullet whizzed past his head, grazing his ear. Any normal human being would probably have probably swore or gotten scared, but this particular man was not ordinary, for he was a masochist. The green haired man grinned perversely for a moment before realizing that Kum-ji was trying to kill him and that this was no laughing matter.

"Protect Yona!" Kija ordered as he rushed towards Kum-ji, clawed hand poised for a killing blow. The gun fired again, and Kija fell to one knee, clutching his dragon scaled arm. _Good thing he has such bad aim_ , he thought numbly. Kum-ji raised the gun towards Kija.

"No!" Yelled Yona desperately. Startled by the sudden noise, Kum-ji pointed the gun towards Yona and shot. Luckily Hak pushed her away in time. They both landed on the ground. Kum-ji _tched_ and re-positioned the gun towards them.

A shot.

Silence.

Seconds.

A minute.

Hak slowly opened his eyes, expecting to be dead. He was shocked, and a little relieved, to see that it was Kum-ji laying dead on the ground. Who killed him? What was that gun shot? He looked down at Yona and saw her glaring furiously at Kum-ji, a gun in her hand. She noticed Hak's surprised gaze and smiled sheepishly. "Self-defense?" She said with a shrug.

After that ordeal they quickly fled the scene, sirens wailing in the distance. Before their hastened departure, Kija pointed to what they assumed was the front desk. "First aid kit," he explained. After rummaging around for a few seconds Hak found it. Later, after dressing their wounds, Jae-ha introduced himself as a vigilante. Hak leaned towards Yona and whispered "Guess that explains all the murders". Jae-ha then offered to join their gang, stating that he now owed them, and that, he added with a grin, he had taken an interest in Yona and her ability to murder people without seeming to care (despite being a police officer). Jae-ha also thought that joining them was better then getting arrested by Yona and being sent to jail. While Jae-ha's joining of the gang certainly didn't please Hak, he didn't complain. They could use someone with Jae-ha's skills, plus he seemed to be necessary for Yona's 'plan', whatever that may be.

They decided to stay in a hotel for the night, with plans to find the other three criminals tomorrow. Once the others had fallen asleep in their respected rooms, Yona slipped out of hers and went outside.

Looking up towards the moon, she grinned. "Perfect," she murmured, "soon my harem shall be complete."

DUN DUN DUUUUUN!


	3. Slim Jim and Drugs

**Hey look! Another chapter one month later! Yeeah, my original plan to upload every week probably won't happen... Sorry about that.**

 **Nonetheless, a new chapter is here! Warning, this chapter contains Skyrim references (I've been playing that game too much lately)**

 **And thank you for the reviews! (Finally got one, hahah)**

Chapter 3: Slim Jim and Drugs

* * *

"Gawd damn it!" A man fell on his face. KO!

"Director Sam-san, Ik-soo fell on his face again," pointed out random employee.

"God damn it Ik-soo! T'es sou! Harharhar." Director Sam-san laughed loudly.

"Ah, I fell again..." Ik-soo noted sadly.

"No derp you fucking little...Hrrrrr! FUS RO DAAAAAH!" 40 gold bounty obtained! Director Sam-san lost his temper. "You are the worst body double evaaaar! You're fired!"

Ik-soo, who luckily wasn't hurdled over a cliff, laughed sheepishly. "Ahhh, darn it..." He muttered while rubbing his head.

Poor Ik-soo. He thought that due to his reasonably durable body he would make a perfect stunt double, but alas he forgot to factor in his extreme clumsiness. So now he's been pushed around from job to job, only surviving thanks to his wee little companion, Yoon. Good thing the young bishonen can cook (and sell drugs)!

Eek-soo made his way to the small shack he called home, and was shocked to see a red-headed police officer, a man with a pointy stick (who kept snickering), and a creepy masochist arguing with Yoon.

"We're not paying! A-and you're under arrest!" The red-head yelled.

"Tch. I saved this guy's life," Yoon pointed to the unconscious white haired guy on the floor, "and why am I under arrest? I haven't done anything illegal in my life!"

"Oooh?" Said the pointy stick guy in a monotone voice after quieting his laughter. Picking up a plastic bag, he said "So this white powdery stuff isn't drugs?"

"Um..." Ik-soo said uncertainly, "what's going on here?" Four pairs of eyes turned towards him, not realizing he had been standing there.

"Ik-soo," Yoon said nervously, "uh, you see..."

"Allow me to explain," Jae-ha said because he needs lines. Flaaaash-baaaack...

* * *

"Princess, where are we going?" Asked Hak.

"I'm looking for something..." Mumbled Yona.

"For what?" Inquired Jae-ha with a smirk.

"Sam," Yona answered shortly.

"Who?" Jae-ha asked.

"A seagull."

"Oh."

At that moment, Jae-ha developed severe doubts about traveling with this group. In reality, what did he know about them? Next to nothing, really. What were they doing anyway? Wondering around town? Jae-ha visibly shook his head, unsure about how to proceed. He was also a little stunned about how easily he agreed to traveling with them. Actually, it was him to who suggested it!

"Wisest-dono!" Yona suddenly yelled.

"Oh crap," Wisest-dono, who was busy pecking at an abandoned taco in the middle of a dark alley, flew away when he noticed the red-headed girl bounding down the alley after him.

 _That taco reminds me of something..._ thought Hak.

"Wisest-dono, we need your advice! C'mon you stupid fucking-ah I mean you nice little-oh, he's gone," Yona sighed.

"Do we need to talk to the bird?" Kija wondered.

Yona nodded, "Yes, it's very important."

Kija looked uncertain.

Nonetheless, they continued prowling the streets for Wisest-dono. They searched every crevice, alley, garbage can, and fast-food restaurant parking-lot until giving up. They were about to call it quits permanently when they ran into someone a little more... _agreeable_.

"Hey guys!" Slim Jim said cheerfully whilst waving spastically.

His waving was met with blank stares.

"Do you...do you not know who I am?" Jim faltered.

"Uh...sorry, no," Yona stated regretfully.

"Oh..." Jim paused. "Well, that's fine! Anyways, I need to forward the plot! I know where you can find the next member of your harem!" Jim smiled cheerfully.

 _Plot? Harem? Was this guy crazy?_ thought Hak.

Yona didn't seem to think so, as she clapped her hands together and smiled, "That's great! Where is he?" She asked.

"A little shack not far from here, I could take you there if you want."

"No, that's okay. We can find it," Yona smiled.

"Alright, suit yourselves," Slim Jim vanished in a puff of smoke, and in his place was a playing card with the number '4' on it.

"That was...odd." Muttered Kija.

"Alright, let's go!" Yona cheered.

* * *

After getting lost a few times, and severely regretting their decision not to bring Jim along (no matter how strange he was), they eventually found the small shack sitting at the base of a mountain. In the city. Let's pretend it makes sense.

"So uh, whose going to go check?" Jae-ha asked.

"I vote Kija," Hak said in a flat voice.

"Whaaa!?" Kija exclaimed.

"Alright, go ahead Kija," Yona agreed.

"Mm...fine," he grumbled. Walking up to the door nervously, he glanced back one more time. Hak gave him a sarcastic thumbs up. Kija's anger flared but he ignored it and proceeded to the door. Knocking once, it opened.

"Hello?" He asked, stepping inside. That's when something with the force of a thousand angry house wives hit him over the head, and everything went black.

* * *

"That's pretty much it," Jae-ha finished.

"So, um...who hit Kija?" Ik-soo asked uncertainly, glancing over at the unconscious white haired male. He looked like he just got run over by a car, or a herd of elephants.

"I thought he was a thief or something!" Yoon suddenly exclaimed. Hak began laughing again.

"Good thing Kija's tough..." Murmured Yona.

"Hahahahak, he-he got hit with a frying pan, hahahahak!" Hak could no longer control his laughter.

"I was just defending myself! Hmph, it dented my frying pan too..." Yoon pointed a finger at the group. "You guys had better pay up too! For my frying pan and for the medicine I gave Kija!"

"We can't pay!" Yona glanced at Kija and remembered how much money he probably had. "We shouldn't have to pay!" She said instead.

"You obviously have money," Yoon stated, "and why shouldn't you have to pay?"

"Because your the one who hit him!"

"You broke into my house!"

"The door was open!"

"Now now," Ik-soo said calmly, "Yoon, you don't have to force these nice people to pay."

"But-"

"SHUT THE FUCK UP- uh" Ik-soo paused at the shocked looks around him, "oops, went out of character for a second there... Eh-hem, Yoon, I'll be right back." Ik-soo smiled.

Ik-soo considered himself to be a world renowned psychic. His predictions, while mostly consisting of spiritual mumbo-jumbo, were usual quite accurate. Of course, many doubted his abilities, including Yoon who considered himself a firm realist.

Ik-soo walked over to the little stream behind his house to meditate. Mumbling a few random Latin words to sound more epic, he sat down and prayed to whoever told him his predictions.

"Oh Great and Wise One, I require Your divine and righteous aid..." Ik-soo mumbled softly.

" _Sup, Ik-soo,_ " the powerful voice replied. " _You need help with somethin'? Huh, guess I got time."_

"Thank You, Divine One. I need to know what it is those adventurers seek..."

" _Those guys? Pff, how mundane, I was hopin' you'd ask me somethin' more interestin'... Aw, well, let's see... The One's You Are Asking About Seek An Item Of Great Importance. This Item, When Used Correctly, Could Amass A Fortune Of Unbelievable Size. A Traveler Of Medicine Circles About The Devine Lights Of The Dragons, As His Fate Is Sealed. The Lights Of Blue And Yellow Shall Soon Awaken, And The Journey Will End In An Unfortunate Way. That's all I can tell ya, man,_ " the powerful voice finished.

"Thank You Devine One," Ik-soo said tiredly.

" _Cool bro. So, bring me more of that stuff Yoon makes next time, 'kay? I'll be waitin' at my shrine,_ " the voice wavered, and then vanished.

Ik-soo sat up quickly and dusted off his pants before turning towards the house to tell Yoon and his friends the prediction. Suddenly, a chill ran down his spine.

"Whose there!?" He said quickly as he turned around.

Two gleaming blue eyes starred at him for a moment before seemingly vanishing into thin air. Ik-soo stared at the spot where the eyes were before shivering and turning towards the house again. "Am I being stalked?" He mumbled quietly.

"...So that was my prediction," Ik-soo finished.

Yoon was leaning against a wall, eyes narrowed suspiciously at Ik-soo. Not being a fan of these predictions, he was not amused. However, the others seemed to take Ik-soo's prediction very seriously. _'Guess there aren't any skeptics except for me here_ ,' Yoon thought.

"So what do you think it means?" Kija asked curiously.

Yona laughed to herself. _'My harem shall soon grow...muahahahaha'_.

"So does this mean I won't be getting the hamburger?" Hak mumbled to himself, seemingly unconcerned.

"Hamburger?" Ik-soo asked. "Well, that doesn't matter right now. Yoon, I need to tell you something," Yoon's eyes shifted away from Yona and her insane giggling to focus on Ik-soo, "I think you should go with them."

"WHAAAAAT!?"

"The prophecy spoke of how a 'traveler of medicine' would go with them. That must be you. Besides, it's high time you see the world anyways, or at least part of the city."

"Oi." Evil Yoon said sharply. "Don't be tellin' me what to do. Who do you think pays all the bills around here? Who do you think makes all the food and medicine? Who cleans up after all your messes?"

"Uh, Yoon..."

"So I AIN'T LEAVING!" Yoon stormed out of the room.

Everyone sat in silence for a moment, many of them contemplating various things. Yona was wondering if the young bishonen would work in her harem, Hak was mostly thinking about Yona and getting hamburger, Kija was wondering how much he could sell the drugs on the floor for, and Jae-ha was thinking masochistic thoughts or something.

Suddenly, Kija spoke up, "So, are we gonna take the kid with us or not?"

"Hm, sure! It'd be nice for Yoon to see the world," _and_ _nice for my harem too_ , she added mentally.

"So how do we get him to come with us?" Asked Hak.

"We force him!" Yona said cheerfully whilst pulling her gun out from hammerspace.

"Ah, um, Yona," Kija said nervously, "let's not do anything drastic-"

But by then she was already out the door. Yona marched over to Yoon, who was sitting on a rock outside sulking, and pressed the gun against the back of his head.

"Oi," she smiled, "your coming with us."

"Is that a gun?" Yoon said shakily.

"Yeah," she replied simply.

"WHY THE HELL DO YOU HAVE A GUN!?"

"I'm a police officer."

"A police officer!? You weren't joking!?"

"Nope,"

"So, uh, if I go with you guys, you won't tell anyone about my erm, _business_?"

She contemplated this for a moment before answering, "I suppose not."

Yoon swallowed loudly, obviously still terrified of the gun pressed against his head. "Okay, I'll go," not like he had much of a choice anyway.

"Good!" Yona retuned the gun to hammerspace.

* * *

Later, Yoon waved at Ik-soo sadly, despite strange sense of relief that had crept into his heart. Finally, he was rid of Ik-soo, breaker of expensive pots and waster of good food.

Although he would certainly miss him.

Yoon glanced nervously at the group that had just kidnapped him. They didn't seem all that bad, y'know, despite some of their backgrounds. Hopefully everything would work out fine.

As they walked away, surrounded by the orange glow of the setting sun, a shiver went down their spines. An untold terror was approaching.

Actually, he was already there. He had _always_ been there.

 _The yellow one was coming._


	4. A Yellow Stalker Appears

**Ah-ha! Finally I have finished the next chapter! Took long enough ha-ha-ha...**

 **Also a thing happened the other day. My friend likes watching these Korean drama shows, so the other day we watched one and one of the characters names was, I kid you not, Yoon Jaeha. I couldn't stop laughing, it was just too perfect hahaha!**

 **Alright, on with the show-er fanfiction... yeah**

* * *

 **Chapter 4: The Yellow Stalker**

Have you ever wondered if you were being stalked? Yona and her gang certainly didn't. I mean, they had no reason too, right? Little did they know that they were indeed being watched, at almost all times, by a little blond kid named Zeno. As we established earlier, Zeno was a hobo, but that was mostly due to the fact that he was immortal and didn't bother staying in one place at all times. So, why did this freelancer decide to stalk Yona and her crew?

Simple: he just did.

Logic was not involved in his decision to follow them at all times, for it was simply on a whim that he did. Zeno was bored, and they seemed interesting so he watched them. Later, he realized how much he liked stalking people, but we won't go into detail about that now.

So, one sunny afternoon approximately 2 days after Yoon joined the gang, Zeno slipped up. That's right, someone saw him.

The strange blue haired male in the fancy tuxedo sat on a bench across the road, and watched Zeno as he watched Yona. His head was tilted slightly to the side, his eyes hidden behind thick sunglasses. He silently pondered why the blond was hidden behind a wall, his gaze intensely fallowing the group.

A shiver quickly ran down Zeno's spine as he sensed the tuxedo guy's eyes on him. Turning around sharply, he narrowly avoided a seagull who quickly flew out of the alley. Further down the sidewalk, Yona turned around sharply, "I see Wisest-dono!" She exclaimed as she rushed towards the alley.

"Oh shoot," Zeno muttered. He looked around frantically for someplace to hide before Yona got there. His eyes trailed over a pile of garbage bags before he dived towards them.

"Wisest-dono I've got you now hahah ha ha...ha... He's gone," Yona remarked sadly.

Zeno breathed very loudly from his hiding spot, he was extremely nervous. The girl (and her friends) that he had been stalking were a few feet away from him! _'Damnit man, calm down! At this rate they'll find you and that'll end all the fun-ah,'_ Zeno's internal monologue was interrupted by the arrival of Slim Jim.

"Hey guys!" he said cheerfully.

"Slim Jim! We need your help," Yona turned around and looked at him intensely, "where can I find the next guy?"

Jim pointed to where Zeno was hiding. "Over there."

 _Daaaarn it, they caught me_ , Zeno thought.

"Huh? Really?" Yona walked over to where Zeno was silently panicking. Slowly, in a suspenseful manner, she lifted the garbage bags and looked at the scrawny form that was Zeno.

"Hello," Yona greeted him cheerfully.

After a moment, Zeno answered. "Hello, miss."

"Were you the one fallowing us?"

 _Oopsies_. "Uh, well..." Zeno laughed lightheartedly. "Zeno guesses he was."

"That's quite a nonchalant answer. Y'know, despite stalking us," Yoon stated. Zeno just laughed in response.

Suddenly Yona pulled out her gun from hammerspace again. Yoon gasped and everyone fell silent. "Zeno," Yona said sweetly, "you're coming with us."

"Okay," Zeno said cheerfully, "Zeno has nothing better to do anyways."

"That was easy!" She said while putting her gun back into hammerspace.

"Y-Yona," Yoon stammered, "could you stop using the gun?"

She glanced at him confusedly before turning back to Zeno. "Okay, so now what?"

"We find the final member of my harem, the politician guy named Shin-ah!" Yona declared cheerfully.

"Shin-ah?" Zeno questioned, "waaaait, was that..." Zeno glanced towards the bench where the man in the suit was sitting before, but suddenly, he was gone!

That was when they heard the sound of heavy breathing further down the alley. Each glanced towards the source of the disturbing noise in turn, tensing, when the mysterious man walked out from the shadows.

"AAAAAH!" The more squeamish members of the group yelled.

"Ah! It's you!" Zeno laughed.

"Who?" Yoon asked, obviously still shaken from the suited mans entrance.

"The politician guy, Shin-ah!" Yona suddenly exclaimed.

Shin-ah, who was startled by all the yelling, sunk back towards the shadows.

"Hey now, no need to get scared of us, Zeno won't hurt you!" The yellow one said.

In response Shin-ah backed away further.

"Hey, Yona, what should we do?" Yoon asked quietly.

"Heeeere, kitty kitty kitty," Hak suddenly said.

"Hak!" Yona warned harshly. Suddenly a thought occurred to her. 'So far, my gun has gotten 2 people to join me, so maybe it'll work on him too!'.

As if sensing what she was going to do, Yoon said, "Ah, Yona, I don't think you should-"

Once again, however, she paid no attention. Pulling out her gun, she stepped forwards and pointed it towards Shin-ah. "Excuse me-" she began, but was cut off by the feel of a knife against her throat. The blue haired male gazed at her through dark sunglasses, "Enemy!" he suddenly yelled.

"Okay this is not good, really not good..." Yoon repeated in a mantra.

"Oi!" Hak exclaimed, bringing up his pointy stick.

"I thought this story was supposed to be a comedy," Jae-ha pointed out. Everyone ignored him.

"Priiiiiiincess Yooooona," Kija exclaimed drunkenly. Yeah, he's randomly drunk. Zeno had beer or something.

Yona, however, did not have time for that, and she shot Shin-ah in the leg, and as he fell-

The sound of a thousand horns rang out through the air, and suddenly time itself froze. A brilliant red light shone throughout the alley, and suddenly a being of great power stood there. A voice resounded in the heads of the readers.

 _Uh, yeah, hi. It's me, the Great God Guy Ik-soo is always talking to. Yeah, uh, I was told I needed to sober up and get my ass over here because something bad was-whooooa, she just shot that guy. Okaaay, whose been messing with the tape? I told that idiot that the space-time continuum is very sensitive. What? He spilled coffee on it? The fucking idiot-oh, right, I should probably fix this. Uh, Zoo Ba Babloo Latin words Latin words, something something, Zee Bla Bloo! There, I fixed it, now if you'll excuse me I have some drugs to-_

* * *

Our heroes set out from their hotel room that morning, intending to find the final member of Yona's harem (well, Yona intended to anyways, the others still didn't really get what was going on). Maybe they'd even find some hamburger! Probably not though. Anyways, first they needed to find out where this Shin-ah character was. That was when Wisest Sam-dono dropped from the sky.

"Okay, so I thought it over aaand," he sighed, "I guess I'll help you guys."

"Thank you, Wisest-dono, so where is he?" Yona asked eagerly.

Wisest-dono pointed down the street. "He's giving a 'speech' over there."

"I sensed quotation marks in that sentence," Yoon said mystically.

Wisest-dono started laughing. "You'll see what I mean," then he flew away.

Some teleportation later, they arrived at the entrance to a large (and very important looking) building. Several intimidating guards stood outside the building, and reporters were crowded around the entrance, eagerly awaiting the exit of Shin-ah. Yona and the

gang walked approached the building, when Kija stopped them.

"I-I have something I need to say," he announced.

"What is it, Kija?" Yona asked.

"I don't think it would be a good idea for me to go in there," He glanced at the building and then at the reporters, "I prefer to stay away from cameras."

"Is it because you were a drug lord?" Hak said flatly. Some of the reporters turned towards them curiously. "SHH!" The rest of the group whispered harshly. Hak only frowned in response, growing serious.

"So what now?" Yoon wondered aloud.

"We leave Kija here," Hak stated, and Kija glared at him.

"I could get him in another way," Jae-ha said with a grin. Everyone had almost forgotten he was there because he wasn't getting any lines.

"How?" Kija asked cautiously. This couldn't be good.

"Through the roof," he said, as though it was the most simple thing in the world.

Everyone stared at him. In response, he pointed to his leg. "I can jump really high."

"Like, more-then-twenty-feet high?" Yoon asked incredulously.

Jae-ha grinned, "Of course."

Hak let out a long whistle, and Yoon gaped at him. "Anything other things anyone wants to inform me about?" He asked sarcastically. That's when he the other's slightly suspicious looks. "Seriously?" He added.

Kija held up his hand, "Uh..." He said uncertainly. He wasn't sure how to explain it.

Once again, Yoon looked stunned.

"Zeno is immortal!" The yellow stalker said.

Now Yoon looked like he was going to faint.

"I killed a man," Yona said.

That didn't surprise Yoon very much.

A few minutes later Jae-ha had jumped up to the roof with Kija, while the rest of them walked towards the door. One of the guards stopped Hak, demanding he leave his weapon there. Hak looked like he was about to argue with the guy when Yona offered to put it in hammerspace for him. Hak simply raised an eyebrow but otherwise didn't say much.

Suddenly, epic music flared! One of the guards recognized them! T'was Gura The Guard! He came forth for revenge and retribution -oh sweet bloody retribution- brandishing a shining axe of purest silver in the afternoon light. Rise glorious heroes! Strike down Gura Louise Guard!

Reflexes faster then a tiger, Hak came forth, empty handed, to fight Gura! Yona, eyes widening as realization dawned, summoned the purple vortex of hammerspace. She summoned forth his pointy stick and handed it to Hak. Quickly taking it, Hak swiped at Gura with it, causing the nearby women to swoon because innuendo. Gura's rippling muscles flexed protectively, but alas human flesh cannot triumph solid steel. Although, at the last second, as the epic music that came from no where swelled, Gura raised his axe in defense and...and!

Suddenly Jae-ha and Kija landed on Gura.

Gura fainted!

You see, Jae-ha has an absolutely terrible sense of direction apparently, despite how much he travels around and the fact that he had a birds eye view of everything. Therefore, inexplicably and coincidentally, Jae-ha landed on Gura instead of the big shiny hard to misplace roof.

Jae-ha and Kija got up, and mere seconds later Kija began scolding him for his terrible landed skills.

Cut to about ten minutes later when the rant ends!

Suddenly, they heard sirens in the distance.

"Hey, guys! I think the police are-" Yoon warned.

Suddenly Yoon was hoited into the air by Kija.

"Don't worry, I am good at running from the police," Kija said triumphantly.

Hak quickly grabbed Yona and Jae-ha awkwardly picked up Zeno. The sirens got louder. "Yep, time to go," Hak said as they turned towards the building and made a hasty retreat.

* * *

Later, they were all cramped inside a tiny storage room, intently listening to the footsteps of passing police officers. The closet being almost completely covered in darkness, except for the tiny sliver of light coming from under the door, they didn't immediately realize that they were not alone, and then suddenly they heard heavy breathing in the far corner behind some boxes.

"Uhh... Hak... please tell me that's you just trying to freak me out," Yona said uncertainly.

"Afraid not, princess. Besides, Jae-ha's more likely to do that then me,"

"You're probably right, actually," Jae-ha smirked.

"So...who is it? Zeno?" Yoon asked.

"It's not Zeno!"

"...Kija-"

"Of course not!" Came Kija's quick reply.

They sat in silence for a moment, listening to the breathing, feeling vaguely like something similar to this had happened before. Finally, Yoon had had enough.

"Argh! I can't take it anymore!" He got up and shimmied over to the closet through the cramp of people. Pulling out a flashlight (he's always very prepared) Yoon turned on the flashlight violently flung the boxes aside, and promptly flew backwards when he saw the blue-haired guy crouched in the corner.

"Gah! T-there's a really suspicious guy in here!" He yelled.

"Isn't that Shin-ah?" Hak questioned.

"The politician guy?" Yona looked at him curiously before she recognized him.

"Well, well," Jae-ha mused.

Zeno laughed, "Why are you crouched in the corner of a closet? You're even more suspicious then Zeno!" He laughed again.

"True," Yoon agreed quietly.

Yona shimmied over to Shin-ah and crouched down in front in front of him. "So, why are you hiding in the dark?"

"..."

"Uh-"

"It's...quiet." Shin-ah could also see perfectly fine in the dark.

"Oh. I suppose it is," Yona smiled. "Aren't you lonely?"

"No."

"Oh."

"This is awkward," Yoon whispered.

"You don't say much do you?" Hak asked. Shin-ah glanced at him for a second before shaking his head.

"Um, would you like to come with us?" Yona asked uncertainly.

Shin-ah considered this for a moment. "Why?" He finally asked.

"No reason..." Yona said mysteriously.

Shin-ah stared at her blankly through his dark sunglasses. Actually, why was he wearing sunglasses indoors?

"If I go..." Shin-ah said suddenly, "will I not have to say much?"

"What do you mean?" Yona asked.

"I...caught strep throat...because I had to talk so much. I...don't like...being a politician."

"So, in order to avoid talking, you want to come with us?" Yona said slowly.

"Yeah."

"Alright, deal!"

"Well that was easy," Hak said. "We should probably get out of here before any more cops show up, Yona."

"I am the police! It'll be fiiiiine."

"Whenever she says that, expect disasters," Hak whispered to Yoon.

Finally, after quite a while of sneaking around, they managed to escape the building without being arrested (although there was one occasion where Yona had enthusiastically called upon her hammerspace powers and almost threatened a bystander to a fate of eternal wondering, but luckily Hak stopped her).

Even better, now Yona had completed her harem! Many adventures awaited them, but first, they had one final task to attend to... yes... the hamburger!

Next time on Hak of the Taco bell, the ending of epically small proportions!

* * *

 **Soon, the 'ending'. I put that in quotation marks because I'm planning on making a few 'extra' chapters featuring out little gangs various adventures. Time to re-watch the show and re-read the manga to gain inspiration!**

 **For now, I'm planning on uploading the next chapter as soon as possible. Warning, it'll be kinda short seeing as how it's basically just an epilogue type thing. Also warning, I upload slow but I'll try :)**


	5. The Muttering Kijas

**Well, this chapter ended up being longer then chapter 1 (I think) and I uploaded it faster! Huzah!**

 **Meeeanwhile, well, I uh, did a thing at the end and... you'll see...**

* * *

 **Chapter 5: The Muttering Kijas**

Finally, the time has come for Hak to get his priorities straight. Yona and the gang's various escapades had distracted him, causing his sight to shift from his true goal- obtaining some hamburger.

So, now that Yona seemed to have completed her mysterious and highly suspicious goal, Hak spoke up: "Hey guys, I'm going to go get some hamburger."

"Whaaaa, I wanna come toooo," Kija slurred drunkenly. The team was beginning to think that Kija was secretly taking some of Yoon's stash. And alcohol.

"Yeah, Hak, Zeno wants to come toooo!" Said stalker-chan.

"How about we all go?" Jae-ha pointed out with his ever present grin.

Hak shrugged. Whatever worked, it wasn't like they'd run into any trouble. HAHAHA-

* * *

The group of highly suspicious people made their way down the street towards Generic Meat Store to buy some hamburger. Unfortunately, Kija was attracting a lot of attention (and not because of the clawed hand, but because he continuously kept ranting about old ladies and people with the same face) so it was inevitable that he caught the attention of some rather sketchy people dealing drugs in an alleyway.

"Oi, kiddies, you wanna tell us what's wrong with your friend over there?"

" _Kiddies?"_ Jae-ha started laughing. "Most of us here are probably older then you."

It was true too, 2/3 of the people in the alley were 16, while the other one was 18.

The oldest one, a man named Jon LeBon-pas-bon, scoffed. "Just tell us what kinda stuff your friend uses."

"We're not going to tell you-"

"Here!" Kija waved a bag of suspicious white powder in front of Jon's face, he also pulled out a small bottle containing vodka or scotcha or juice...

"Thanks, now give it to us," Jon cracked his knuckles.

Kija cracked his knuckles against Jon's face. "Ah-ah-ah, this is miiiiine!" Kija did a little twirl.

The two other thugs glared at the group, one of them glanced down at Jon who was clutching his broken nose. "You're gonna pay for that!" Thug 1 said.

"Yeah!" Thug 2 agreed.

"Nope," Hak disagreed, quickly pulling out his pointy stick and whacking them in the stomach. They fell to the ground. K.O!

"Why do we keep getting into trouble?" Yoon sighed.

"Does this...happen often?" Shin-ah quietly asked.

"Yeah," Yona said cheerfully.

The group walked out of the alley, attempting to look the least suspicious as possible. Luckily, no one had noticed what happened, so the group merrily continued to walk towards Generic Meat Store. Of course, nothing normal ever happens to them so it was inevitable that something else would occur.

Slim Jim! "Hey, guys!" He waved cheerfully, "What're you up to?"

"Going to get some hamburger," Yona replied.

"Finally," Hak grinned slightly.

"Actually, I need your help with something," Slim Jim's expression turned sheepish, "I made a bit of a mistake..."

"Oi! We know where you are, JIIIIIM!" Yelled a very intimidating man with a gun. Running down the street. In broad daylight-

"Jimmy-kins! Don't run away from meee!" A lady, who was also carrying a gun, yelled.

"WHY!?" Yoon had had enough of this crap.

"Here," Yona handed him a machinegun from hammerspace. Yoon panicked and dropped it. "I-I'm not mad enough to kill them!"

"Aw, come one, they haven't even gotten any development yet, no one will miss them too much," Yona stated matter-of-factly.

"What are you even talking about!?"

"We should start running, guys," Kija sobered up.

Everyone finally realized that running was a good plan, and so they did. The large man named Weeboo began shooting at them, but Kija's arm could deflect bullets so that's what he did. He deflected bullets. Weeboo was not deterred by this, however, as he had seen some seriously weird stuff in his life, so he figured that at least _one_ of the bullets had to hit him. Suddenly, Jeebus-chan joined the fight and also began shooting wildly at the group. Kija could not deflect all the bullets, so he quickly told everyone to duck in an alleyway. Yona, Jae-ha, and Shin-ah landed in the one to their immediate left, while Zeno, Kija, and Hak quickly ducked towards the one to their right. By now, police sirens could be heard in the distance, although the street remained eerily quiet. A problem arose however. Where were Slim Jim and Yoon?

The two were crouched behind a car, panicking because of the rapid approach of Jeebus-chan and Weeboo.

"Jimmy-kins, foooound you~" Jeebus-chan came from around the car, gun raised. She grinned as she prepared to shoot. "Any last words?"

"Uh-oh!" Slim Jim pulled out a gun. "Guess I need to do something about this!" Jumping into the air, Jim did a dramatic flip before shooting at Jeebus-chan upside down. She didn't even have time to react as Jim skillfully shot her gun from her hand, and then shot her hand. Jeebus-chan sreamed before yelling, "Owie! That really hurt!" She stomped her foot on the ground. "That's it, I'm leaving!"

'How is that her reaction to being _shot in the hand?_ ' Yoon though. He looked across the street and saw Yona beckoning him over to the alley. Stealthily, he made his way over just as Weeboo pointed his gun at Jim.

"You! How dare you!"

Jim laughed, "Well it's not like I had a choice!"

"RARRRGH!" Weeboo shot at Jim who dodged the bullets, dancing around them gracefully. Real unrealistic like.

"Hold still damnit!"

"I'd rather not!"

"Can you hurry it up?" Yoon whispered. Suddenly he felt a rush of wind pass him as Shin-ah and Jae-ha ran out of the alley and charged forwards. Jae-ha jumped, intending to land on Weeboo, but his terrible aim caused him to land waaaaaay down the street. Meanwhile Shin-ah grabbed a (conveniently placed) lead pipe and ran behind Weeboo. Before Weeboo had a chance to turn around, Shin-ah swung the pipe with expert grace and knocked him out.

"Oh, ok." Yoon walked out of the alley.

"Are you ok, princess?" Hak asked Yona.

"Yeah..." She sounded disappointed. Yona was secretly hoping that she'd get a chance to use her gun, but alas today was not the day for murder.

Hak walked over to Weeboo and kicked him slightly. Yep, he was knocked out cold. "Alright, let's go before the cops-"

"KAW KAAAAWWW!" Wisest-dono flew down from the heavens and landed on Kija's head.

"What in Hiryuu's name-"

"I HAVE A MESSAGE FROM LORD PANDEMONIUS-"

"Stop yelling!" Kija yelled.

"Fine, stick-in-the-mud," Wisest-done jumped off of his head and onto Zeno's.

"Hahaha, there's a bird on Zeno's head," the stalker said.

"Lord Pandemonius (the guy Ik-soo is always talking to) wanted me to tell you that unless you get the hamburger and return to Taco Bell _right now_ you'll all probably be sentenced to life in prison."

"Well shit," muttered Hak.

"Yep, nope, I don't want to go to prison. We're going," Yoon put his hands on his hips all sassy like.

"Alright," Wisest-dono used fly!

They ran down the deserted street, narrowly avoided the cops as they drove past to inspect the scene. Hak still questioned why Yona couldn't just reason with them, but then he considered all the illegal stuff he had gotten into since meeting her and decided that it was probably best if she didn't say anything.

The group slowly approached Generic Meat Store, and realized that it was the most beautiful thing they had ever seen in their lives. Finally, their long journey was nearly completed (well that's what they thought anyways). Hak stepped inside the store, walked over to the meat section, grabbed some hamburger, nearly forgot to pay, paid, and left.

"I got it," he held up the bag containing the packaged hamburger.

"Yes!" Yona yelled.

* * *

They stepped inside Taco Bell. The place was quiet, having been shut down for the day because the fake manager was lazy. Everyone took a seat while Hak walked over to Random Employee and presented him with the bag of hamburger.

"I got it."

"Hak? I thought you were dead!"

"Well, I'm not."

"You've been gone for, like, 5 days!"

"I got sidetracked."

"Aw, well, that's fine, but we actually got a fresh shipment 3 days ago, and um..." The employee looked at the bag. "I don't think that'd be enough hamburger anyway."

Hak shrugged. "Well, see ya. Oh right, here's the managers stick thing," Hak whipped out his pointy stick.

The employee held up his hands. "Actually, the manager told me to tell you that you can keep it."

Hak glanced down at it. "Alright," he said. The employee smiled and went back to cleaning the counter. Hak walked over to Yona and gang.

"Well?" Kija asked.

"They already had hamburger, apparently."

"Really? Aw. So what do we do with that?" Yona pointed to the bag.

"I could probably make something with it," Yoon suggested.

"Good idea!" Zeno exclaimed.

"I'll bring the booze!" Kija yelled.

"I don't think you should," muttered Kija.

"Wait, what?" Muttered Kija.

"Kija?" Muttered Kija.

"What's going on!" Muttered Kija.

"Please stop," ...muttered Kija.

Yona slapped him across the face. "Get a hold of yourself man!"

"Please don't bring any alcohol," most of the group said except Jae-ha and Zeno, who thought it was hilarious. Shin-ah didn't say anything.

* * *

Far, far away, a rip in the space-time continuum had opened. Demons of all shapes and sizes swarmed from the rip, claws stretched in eager anticipation. Finally, the king of all demons, Satan, exited. "Kiiiiiijaaa," he rumbled, his voice so powerful that it caused several weaker demons to vanish from it. "You have tampered with the fabric of reality...now I've come for you!"

La fin? Not really...

TO BE CONTINUED! ...muttered Kija.

* * *

 **Yeeeah, remember how I said that the story was over? Um, I guess I lied. You see, my stories write themselves and I guess now we get an arc! Oops. Well, now ye get more of this terrible story muahahaha**

 **...muttered Kija.**


	6. Enter Satan

**... I'm sowwy... but I finally uploaded!**

 **I was originally planning on uploading around Halloween, but now it's time for everyone to be psyched for Christmas, so um... Oops**

Chapter 6: Enter Satan

* * *

Quite some time passed after they had completed their journey. During said period, the group had visited a neighboring town, met with the daughter of an anime-Chinese guy who always had his eyes closed except when he was serious, won a gangster war for a little boy who got them all sick as thanks, realized that Zeno was way angstier then they were, and almost let Shin-ah kill them because he's just so nice. All in all, much off-screen character development occurred between our heroes, and finally that time came again- Halloween.

The group had started up a business a while ago. They went around doing odd jobs for people (totally not like Gintama... or anything...) because Yoon and Kija's drug business, while profitable, caused certain problems to arise. Such as the fact that drugs are illegal.

At the moment, the group was investigating a haunted house. Not to exercise the ghosts, however, but to make sure it actually _was_ haunted.

"Why are we here...?" Yoon asked somewhat shakily.

"Because we need money," Hak replied.

Yoon mumbled uncertainly, but continued forward nonetheless. Yoon was terrified of anything he couldn't see, and the dark and cramped corridor was doing nothing to calm his nerves. It also didn't help that they were investigating at night.

Suddenly, something touched his shoulder.

"KYAAAA!" Yoon screamed girlishly. He turned around and came face to face with a demon mask. He screamed again and fell backwards.

After accessing the situation, Jae-ha laughed. "Hahah, Yoon-kun, it's only Shin-ah."

"Huh?" Yoon looked up at him

Hak looked at Shin-ah. "Your mask is scaring him, Shin-ah."

Shin-ah slowly turned away and crouched in a corner.

"Ah," Hak held out his hand.

"Hak, you offended him," Yona pointed out.

"Oi... I didn't mean anything by it..."

Shin-ah slowly turned around. He stared at the group for a long moment before quietly asking, "...really?"

"Y-yeah..."

By now Yoon had gotten up. "Can we please get out of here?" His momentary heart-attack was forgotten.

"Ugh, I actually want to leave too..." Yona shivered.

"Oh? Is the princess scared of ghosts?" Hak teased.

"O-o-o-of course not!" She replied defiantly.

"Who wouldn't be scared of ghosts!" Yoon exclaimed. "They don't make any noise and you can't see them and..." Yoon visibly paled. "Can we please leave now?"

"No! Zeno wants to find the ghost first!"

Kija frowned slightly. _I really hope there aren't any bugs in here..._

"Is Kija perhaps scared of ghosts as well?" Jae-ha smirked.

"No!" Kija denied. "It's just I...uh..."

"Hm?"

"Nothing!" Kija stormed ahead. "We have work to do! Come on!"

He didn't get very far, however, as the house began shaking violently.

"What the hell!?" Yoon exclaimed.

"Everyone get down!" Hak yelled. "Shit, is this an earthquake?"

"I didn't even know we got earthquakes around here!" Yoon yelled from under an old table.

"Weeeee!" Zeno spun around in circles in the hallway.

"Zeno, this is really not the time for you to be twirling around!" Said whoever.

"Oh, right!" Zeno got down on his stomach.

Everyone remained in their respective defensive positions in the hallway until the shaking subsided. A few minutes after, they got up and dusted themselves off.

"Well, that happened," Yoon said somewhat shakily.

"What was that? Sounded like Satan came down for a visit or something..." Hak mumbled.

"You're not wrong," Wisest-dono flew in from the broken window and landed on Zeno's head again.

"Wait, what?" Hak asked flatly.

"Kija, I think you might have brought on the apocalypse," Wisest-dono turned towards him.

"I what?"

"Guys," Wisest-dono looked at the entire group. "Satan has come."

Jae-ha started laughing. Hak even joined in after a while.

"Hak-kun... Did... hahahah... did you hear that?" Jae-ha asked, whiping tears from his eyes.

"Hahahah, white snake summoned Satan...hahaha!"

"I do believe you have just doomed us all, Kija-kun," Jae-ha teased while putting his arm around Kija's shoulders.

"What? No I didn't," Kija replied, shrugging Jae-ha's arm off of him.

"Yona, you know what I'm talking about," Wisest-dono turned towards her.

"Yona...?" Hak asked. He was surprised to see her with a very serious expression on her face.

"I think he might be right."

Everyone was quiet.

"Uh-oh..." Yoon whispered.

"Wait, how did I... summon Satan?" Kija questioned.

"I can't explain... if I do, we might make it worse," Wisest-dono said regretfully. Yona silently agreed.

"So, what do we do?" Hak asked.

"I dunno. Kill Satan?" Wisest-dono chuckled. "No seriously, do something about this." And with that, he flew away.

"Waaaait!" Yona yelled after his retreating form. "Shoot..."

"We need more information... How do we get it?" Yoon asked, lost in thought.

The group thought about their various colleagues when simultaneously they yelled, "Slim Jim!".

"You rang?" Slim Jim appeared out of a trash can.

"Sweet Pandemonius!" Yoon exclaimed as he fell backwards for the second time that day.

"Slim Jim!" Yona exclaimed cheerfully.

"Hey there! I hear you needed help!"

"Yeah, we need to find Satan!"

"Wha-what?" For once Slim-Jim was taken aback. "You mean you haven't heard?"

"What do you mean?" Kija frowned.

"He's right behind you," Slim Jim pointed at something behind Kija.

"HOLY $HIT! Wait, did I just censor my swearing?" Kija yelled, jumping away from the wall.

Everyone turned to look at the space where Kija was standing a second ago. Sitting on the floor was...a small squirrel.

Jae-ha laughed. "You mean this little squirrel is Satan?"

"Uh-oh..." Yona said seriously.

"What?" Jae-ha asked nervously.

"You just said it."

"Said what?"

"Whenever a character says something like that..." Yona pulled out a lit flashlight from hammerspace and held it under her chin, "it happens!"

"But...it's a squirrel," Jae-ha replied.

"Pukyuuu!" The squirrel said.

"Daaaaw!" Yoon and Yona exclaimed. "Come here you little cutie!" Yona said, reaching for the squirrel.

"Ah..." Shin-ah whispered, holding out his hand to stop her. He was too late, however, as a purple vortex opened up behind the squirrel.

" **Pukyuuuuu...** " It said ominously.

"I don't know what that is but it can't be good!" Yoon yelled.

"Uh-oh! We better get out of here!" Slim Jim (who was still there) yelled.

They were too late, however, as the vortex extended to cover the entire hall in it's eerie purple-ness. Before anyone even had the chance to scream (although I doubt many people would have screamed), everything went purple.

* * *

Everyone slowly awoke in a valley consisting of red landscape. The occasional scream could be heard in the distance, and fire spewed up at random times. It kind of resembled Kija after a night at the bar, but more accurate to canon. Overall it seemed rather fitting for the dimension of the demon ruler.

"Where on earth are we?" Kija mumbled as he looked around.

"Kija-kun, I don't think this is earth anymore..." Jae-ha said.

"Good job, white snake. I think you really have just doomed us all." Hak mumbled.

"I don't even know what I did!" The white snake in question retorted.

"Guys, maybe we should try to figure out how to get out of here," Yoon said, putting his hands on his hips because pffft.

"Right, so where are we?" Hak asked.

"Satan's realm," Yona answered seriously.

"Seriously?" Hak questioned, because he didn't get that part of the narration.

"Wait, so that squirrel was Satan?" Yoon asked, shocked.

Shin-ah shook his head.

"Wait, why does Shin-ah know?"

The masked man in question slowly turned away.

"Shin-ah..." Yona warned.

"..."

After a moment, Yona sighed. "It's fine, we'll probably find out why later."

"Hey guys?" Kija asked. "Where's Slim Jim and Zeno?"

Everyone looked around and discovered that he was, in fact, gone.

"Huh, where did they go...?" Yoon wondered aloud.

Everyone jumped when Yona yelled, "SLIM JIIIIIIIM! ZENOOOO!" at the top of her lungs.

For a moment there was no reply when a faint, "Whaaaat!" could be heard in the distance.

"That way!" Yona yelled towards the east.

"I'm not sure that it's a good idea to go wandering around Hell..." Yoon said, holding out his hand to stop her.

Alas, she was already running.

"Well, this is going to be interesting," Jae-ha said with a grin.

* * *

"A forest?" Hak asked from beside Yona.

After about 15 minutes of intense running, the group had made it to where Slim Jim had called from. They were now standing in front of a thick forest that looked like something out of a horror movie.

"Not just any forest," Yona said with a smile, "but a creepy forest. Something interesting is bound to happen here, muhahaha..."

"Or not?" Hak said.

"We'll see..." And with that, she stepped forward.

Now that they were actually walking through the forest, it wasn't _so_ bad. I mean, sure, the screams of the damned in the distance and the creepy dark shadows made the atmosphere rather eerie, but nothing had attacked them so far and well, they were smelling _tea_ in the distance by now.

"Do you guys smell tea?" Yoon asked with his arms wrapped around himself.

"I do," Hak said.

"I see something up ahead," Kija said warningly.

"Alright, let's see what hell has in store for us." Jae-ha sounded a little too excited.

The tougher members of the group rushed forward, but quickly stopped in their tracks at the sight that met their eyes.

After a few moments, Yona was pushing through the crowd. "What is it?" She asked, and then stopped too when she saw what was happening. "Slim Jim, why are you having tea with Beelzebub?"

* * *

 **Weeeee cliff hanger!**

 **I'll try to upload quicker this time, promise!**


	7. The Beez Knees

**Wellp, I was planning on uploading sooner but an extreme case of the flu and writers block kind of set me back... by a lot. I'm really sorry!**

* * *

Chapter 7: The Beez Knees

"Can I join too?" She added.

"Hey guys! I see you made it!" Slim Jim said cheerfully.

The rest of them lowered their weapons slightly. Surprisingly, everything seemed perfectly calm and normal, despite the fact that a guy they hardly knew was having tea with a _giant fly_ in the middle of Hell.

The fly raised it's cup. "Please, do join us. I am absolutely famished and I cannot wait to dig in," it chuckled.

"Why, thank you!" Yona said, taking a seat. "Come on, don't be rude!" She invited, beckoning the others over.

Zeno ran over excitedly, with Shin-ah slowly following from behind. Reluctantly, the rest of them took a seat.

"So, Jim, could you be so kind as to introduce me to your friends?" The fly asked politely.

"Right! This is Shin-ah, who doesn't say much..."

Shin-ah waved slightly.

"...Kija, the one who got us into this mess..."

"Hey!"

"...Yoon, the bishounen..."

"Handsome boy genius, thank you very much."

"...Princess Yona, whom I'm sure you've met before..."

"Hello again, Beez!"

"Wait, you've met him before?" Hak asked.

"...Hak, who is obsessed with Yona and everyone sees it except for her-"

Jim was cut off by a spear being launched at his head. Jim dogged it and continued speaking. "...Jae-ha, the lecherous pervert with a soft spot for children"

"Hehehehehe?" He greeted with a grin.

"...and Zeno, the overly cheerful yet surprisingly angsty immortal hobo."

"Oh hai maaaark!"

"And guys, this is Beelzebub, the demon of gluttony, Lord of the Flies, one of the seven princes of Hell, and all that good stuff."

"Welcome, friends of Princess Yona and Jim! It's a pleasure to have you all! Please, eat your fill! Oh, how long it has been since I last had guests..."

"Wasn't it like, 50 years ago?" Slim Jim asked through a mouthful of cake.

"Well, not counting Yona's occasional visits, I believe it has been 50 years. My last guest was...you!" They both began chuckling.

"Wait, Jim, how old are you?" Hak asked.

"Ah, no need to know that! Now, eat, you guys will need all the energy you can get to defeat Satan!" Jim said cheerfully.

"Hold on, defeat Satan!?" Yoon yelled.

"I thought you couldn't eat food in Hell or else you'd be trapped there forever." Hak said, not at all surprised by the 'defeat Satan' thing.

"Naw, that's just a rumor someone came up with," Slim Jim replied.

"Hello? Defeat Satan?" Yoon repeated.

"Enjoying the cake, Princess?" Beelzebub asked.

"Mm-hm!" Yona replied in between bites.

"And how about you, enthusiastic one?" The demon prince then asked Zeno.

"Everything's great!" He replied, drool flying everywhere.

"I'm not even going to bother," Yoon said quietly.

"Kija-kun, you've been usually quiet this entire time," Jae-ha noted.

"Well, yeah, he hasn't been getting any lines, despite this being his ark kinda," Yona mumbled to herself.

"Silence, I'm thinking..." Kija said to Jae-ha.

"White snake needs complete silence to think after all, otherwise his tiny brain can't conjure up any thoughts," Hak deadpanned.

His comment was met with silence.

"Wow, he must be really focused on thinking right now-" Hak was silenced by a teacup flying at his head.

"SHHHHH!" Kija went back to thinking.

Several minutes later, Kija lifted his head up.

"Beelzebub, where is Satan?"

"He is in that large imposing castle over there," he pointed one of his fly arms towards a large purple castle in the distance.

"Kija?" Yona questioned.

"We shall go defeat Satan!" The white snake declared.

"That was a given, shiro-hebi," Hak said monotonously.

"Well then, Kija-kun, if that's what you want to do, I'm going to go scout ahead," Jae-ha prepared to jump when-

"NO!" Yoon yelled.

"Problem?"

"Ah, well... You don't have the best sense of direction so you'll just get lost anyways!"

"Now, now, Yoon, I'm sure Jae-ha will be able to figure it out," Yona said soothingly.

Jae-ha sent Yoon a reassuringly creepy smile and flew awaaaay.

"So now we-"

 **"SUUUURPRISE!"** A booming voice said in bold.

"Oh dear, it appears as though Lucifer as come to join us!" Beelzebub said a little bit too cheerfully.

"Uh-oh, looks like it's time to go!" Slim Jim said before disappearing.

"Hellooooo assholes!" A giant black blob descended from the heavens, stirring up dirt and grass. "How are ya!?"

"Uh..." Hak and Yoon said, bewildered.

The rest of the group looked on, stunned.

Standing in front of them was what appeared to be a visual kei guy. Black emo haired draped his pale face, black makeup was smeared across his obnoxious expression, and if that wasn't enough, he had dark angel wings fanned out behind his back and horns.

"Lucifer, I take it?" Kija said glumly.

"Ya got that right, tight wad!"

"Tight wad?" Kija echoed, horrified.

"You wouldn't happen to know the way to Satan's house, would you?" Hak asked.

"Wha? That asshole? Why the hell would ya wanna visit him?"

"No reason." Hak replied.

"Ah, well, I could probably take ya there- wait, no!" Lucifer crouched and then took flight.

Hovering in the air, he sneered down at the group bellow. "You think I'd help you people? Ha! I have waaaay better things to do then-"

"Like what?" Yoon interrupted.

"I, uh... What?"

"What better things do you have to do?"

"Well, uh, I have to uh..." Lucifer thought for a second. "Oh right! I have some villages to destroy and some people to mess with!"

"Villages? What century do you think we are?" Yoon questioned.

"1600-ish?"

"Not anymore."

"Oh."

"Just let go of your pride and help us!"

"But that's my entire gimmick-oh shit." Lucifer just realized that he revealed his secret- that he was nothing but a one trick pony, a bland character with one personality trait, a-

"Now will you help us?" Yoon said, catching on.

"I uh..."

"Lucifeeeer," Beelzebub boomed, "help them out. One of my oldest friends are these people's acquaintances. So..." The fly paused to sip his tea, "Be a dear and refine your social skills."

"Ugh! Fine! But I'm only doing this because I want to!" He turned around and began flying towards the castle.

"Well that was easy," Hak whispered.

"I feel like we just witnessed a mother scolding her child," Jae-ha teased with a grin BECAUSE HE'S ALWAYS GRINNING.

Later, the gang was walking along a purple bricked road, closely fallowing behind an airborne Lucifer. Zeno had jogged up next to him and was attempting conversation. By that I mean he was annoying the living hell out of him. Just as Zeno was getting into the topic of how it was indeed possible to live in a trashcan for six months (for him anyways), Shin-ha turned his head sharply towards the field to the left of the trail and began running in that direction.

"Shin-ah!" Yona called out. "The castle is this way!"

"Princess, don't worry, he doesn't have Jae-ha's sense of direction." Hak stated flatly.

"Hey~"

"So something else must be going on..." Yoon concluded. "Should we go after him?"

"That would probably be a good idea," Kija said, nodding.

"Hey! Where do you guys thing you're going?" Lucifer called out.

"Shin-ah sensed something that way, so we're going after him," Yona explained.

"Whaaa? Do you just expect me to wait here for you?" He complained loudly.

"Pretty much, yeah."

They turned towards the field of purple grass when a loud cry erupted from further down the path.

"PRINCESS YONA!"

Everyone looked down the path to see a young man with light colored hair running towards them. He wore a large, joyful smile on his face, but it's effects were ruined by the dozen or so arrows sticking out from his back. Skidding to a halt in front of Yona, he gently touched her arms, his face changing into a mask of concern.

"Princess, what are you doing here? In Hell?" He asked quickly.

"We're going to defeat Satan!" She answered cheerfully.

The young man appeared taken aback for a moment before composing himself. "You... A-anyway, you're not...dead, are you?"

"Oh no, a squirrel tried to suck Kija into Hell but we fell in the portal too."

Ignoring the weird details, he sighed in relief. "Thank goodness you're okay! Oh, um..." He appeared to realize something. "So, I uh... suppose I'm dead..." He began awkwardly.

"Who are you?" Yona asked in that same cheerful tone.

The young man made a startled noise before quietly saying, "Y-you don't know who I am?"

"Nope, sorry."

"O-oh..." He remained quiet for a moment before saying, "well, as long as Princess Yona is okay, then it's fine," he smiled. "My name is Min-soo."

"Oh! Right! You're a character from that manga! I mean uh..." Yona looked away for a moment. "It's nice to meet you, Min-soo."

"Hey!" Hak suddenly exclaimed from behind them, "aren't you one of the regulars at Taco Bell?"

"Hm? What is a... taco bell?"

"Oh, guess not," Hak turned towards the field. "Princess, we should go find Shin-ah."

"Oh! Right!" She turned towards Min-soo. "Well, it was nice to meet you!" She leaned closer to him and whispered, "thank you, even though I'm not the Yona that you saved", and left with the others.

Tears welled up in Min-soo's eyes, and then he realized something, "Defeat Satan!?"

* * *

 **Yaaay another one done! Now I need to finish this little arc. So tell me, O wonderful few readers, should I continue this story after this arc or let it die?**


	8. And Then There Were Squirrels

**Holy craaaaaaap I'm done!**

* * *

Chapter 8: And then there were squirrels

Shin-ah had started leaping at one point, so following him was becoming an even bigger pain. So, Jae-ha decided to put his superhuman leg to use.

"I'm going on ahead~" He yelled as he propelled himself forward.

Hak also had a magical power. Two, to be accurate. The power of pride was the first. The second was that each time he swore he got faster.

"God damn logic defying leg magic piece of shit-" Suddenly he was running so fast that people who haven't watched the show might think _he_ had the magical leg. Within a few minutes, the found Shin-ah standing in the middle of the field, a purple moon floating overhead. He had his arms open towards it, like he was preparing to give it a hug.

Finally, everyone else showed up too. The scene prompted an exhausted Yona to say, "S-Shin-ah... this really isn't the time," she took in a deep breath, "to be reenacting scenes from the actual source material-" Her fourth wall breaking was cut off by the sound of the moon splitting in two.

The ground shook, demon birds took flight from nearby trees, and someone activated the purple filter.

"Ah shit, what now!" Hak demanded loudly.

Slowly, the moon finished its breaking. One side of the perfectly formed bowl fell away, slowly falling below the horizon. The other piece remained in the sky for a moment before shifting into purple smoke. The smoke retained its bowl-like shape before shifting, rolling together to form the silhouette of what could only be Satan himself.

 **"Humans,"** he rumbled in powerful bold, **"welcome to my domain!"**

Two crimson red eyes formed in the smoke, looking at each of them in turn. They stopped when their eyes locked on Shin-ah, his arms still outstretched towards the Satan-cloud.

"Shin-ah!" Yoon whispered harshly. "Put your arms down! You look like a cultist!"

Shin-ah did not obey, and instead stepped forward. After several tense moments, the eyes rolled back into the cloud, and the smoke shifted and curled around itself until it was but a tiny ball floating in front of Shin-ah. The compact ball popped, and a squirrel jumped out, landing on Shin-ha's head. "Pukyuuu!" It screeched happily.

"What." Yoon said flatly. "I can't even-what."

"Daaaw!" Yona said.

"Isn't that the squirrel from the haunted house?" Jae-ha asked.

"I think it is," Hak said, still slightly shocked from what he just witnessed.

"Ah!" Kija declared loudly, "that squirrel is Satan!?"

"Still want to defeat it, shirohebi?"

Kija looked at the squirrel for a moment before begrudgingly admitting that he didn't.

"So then... Shin-ah just tamed Satan?" Jae-ha smirked.

Zeno leaned over Yoon's shoulder, "So can we keep it?" He asked brightly.

Shin-ah hugged the squirrel against his chest.

"I don't think we have a choice," Hak said.

"Satan?" Yona asked lightly, "do you want to come with us?"

Instead of immediately agreeing, the squirrel stared at them for a moment before replying in his actual voice, **"This one pleases me, so I shall remain by your side for some time."** He then pukyuu'd again before settling himself on Shin-ah's shoulder.

"Well, there you go! So, how do we get out of here?" Yona asked the squirrel.

It just tipped it's head to the side and made a puzzled noise.

"Guess we're on our own," Hak noted.

"Tis I! Wisest Sam-dono!" Announced Wisest Sam-dono as he swooped down from the heavens, which makes no sense because they're in Hell.

"Kaw-kaaaaw!" He screeched as he landed upon Zeno's head. "So, you guys managed to defeat Satan, did you?"

"Not exactly," Hak mumbled, "but I'm not complaining."

Suddenly, the squirrel jumped down from it's perch on Shin-ah's head and ran around in circles.

"Um..." Yona said, at a loss.

"What is this? His attempt at making a cat video?" Yoon remarked.

"Too bad he's not a cat," Kija stated.

That was when the sky opened up for the second time that day, causing Yoon to make a remark about how he was beginning to suspect that this was a normal occurrence. A clawed, glowing hand slipped through the tear in reality and reached down until it landed on the ground. A head popped out of the tear and inspected the group with glowing gold eyes. They stopped when they saw Satan-the-squirrel looking up at him excitedly.

" _Satan! Long time no see pal,_ " the powerful entity greeted, " _I came to tell ya that I wanted to borrow more weed- oh, hey Yoon and friends._ "

"Lord Pandemonius!?" Yoon yelled.

" _Yeah, sup. Actually, don't answer that, I know what you guys are doing anyways. So, you want a ride back while I'm here?_ "

"Yes!" Yoon replied quickly.

Everyone nodded their heads in agreement.

" _Okay, but don't expect me to, like, begin a taxi service or anything,_ "

"Wouldn't dream of it," Kija replied.

"Or maybe you would. Who knows what weird dream you have, shiro-hebi."

"Why I never-"

Alas, Kija-kun never got to finish his sentence, as they were surrounded by pink smoke and with a 'pouf' they were teleported elsewhere.

* * *

They all landed in a heaping pile on top of Zeno. The yellow-one didn't seem to mind, however, as he was giggling madly. They got up, taking in their surroundings. They were in Ik-soo's backyard. The squirrel was sitting on a rock, chirping at the sky. Shin-ah tilted his head in concern at the squirrel, nut it quickly became apparent that it was talking to someone. They assumed that the squirrel was still speaking to Lord Pandemonius and left it there. Yoon ran to the house, towards Ik-soo who was standing in the doorway.

"Yoon?" He said disbelievingly. "How did you-" he was cut off by Yoon who had grabbed a frying pan and hit him over the head with it.

"That's for letting me be kidnapped by a group of lunatics!" He announced hotly.

"A-ha-ha-ha-ha..." Ik-soo laughed nervously on the floor.

Zeno found this whole scene hilarious and was laughing his ass off in the corner. Jae-ha concealed a smirk behind his hand.

"So, now what?" Hak asked Yona.

"Now? Now we have an epilogue."

"Hey, wait-"

* * *

The year was 2028. The world had ended. Kija did it. Meanwhile, before that, our characters had gone their separate ways.

Jae-ha became a comedian, despite his lack of jokes in this story. His days of killing people were behind him, and somehow he didn't end up in jail.

Hak continued to follow Yona around. For a short while, he enjoyed his status of manager of Taco Bell after the previous one was discovered to be a hobo that had stolen the previous managers identity. Hak quit his job soon after that because he would rather go on adventures with the red-haired police officer then work minimum wage for the rest of his life.

Zeno ended up in jail with the hobo manager briefly for cases of loitering and public indecency. He also might have killed a few people by accident.

Yona's connections with the underworld were found out, and she was fired. Although, Hak suspects that they were mostly looking for a reason to fire her in the first place, because she _was_ a terrible police officer. Now her and Hak go around town causing destruction along with the occasional appearances of Slim-Jim and Wisest Sam-dono.

Speaking of the bird and the Deus Ex Machina, they had decided to go on adventures of their own, and they now govern a part of Hell. Wisest-dono relinquished his position of messenger of Lord Pandemonius after an incident involving noodles.

Lord Pandemonius still did drugs.

Kija continued to bend the fabric of reality without realizing it.

Shin-ah and the squirrel (which he decided to name Ao due to it's love of blueberry jam) run from the press as always.

Ik-soo and Yoon live together, and Yoon's drug making business is almost as profitable -as Kija's was. Ik-soo still can't hold down a job.

Then the world ended, but Lord Pandemonius fixed it thanks to his magical plot hole creating powers.

Meanwhile, Lucifer still continues to wait for the groups return to where they left him on the path. Oops.

The actual end.

"NUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUU," muttered Kija.


End file.
